Quipped

"She quipped that the politician's speech was so boring, it made her wish for a power outage."

"The sports commentator quipped that the only way the losing team could win was if the other team all got food poisoning."

"She quipped that the new dress made her look like a clown."

"He quipped that the restaurant's specialty was called 'food poisoning'."

"He quipped that the only way to get fit was to lift a TV remote."

"He quipped that the boss's idea was about as useful as a screen door on a submarine."

"The writer quipped that he preferred to write in the nude because it kept him honest."

"She quipped that the only thing worse than a mosquito in the room was a mosquito in the ear."

"The comedian quipped that the only thing worse than being single was being in a bad relationship."

"He quipped that his car was so old, it was the first model that came with a stone wheel."

"She quipped that the only thing more confusing than taxes was trying to understand a man's mind."

"The comedian quipped that the only thing he had in common with his ex-wife was that they both hated each other."

"He quipped that the only thing worse than a rainy day was a rainy day with no chocolate."

"The talk show host quipped, 'I'm not arguing with you, I'm just explaining why I'm right.'"

"She quipped that her math homework was so hard, it made her head spin."

"The author quipped that writing a book was like having a baby - painful at times, but ultimately worth it."

"The journalist quipped that the only way to keep a secret was to forget it."

"The teacher quipped that grading papers was like a box of chocolates - you never know what you're going to get."

"He quipped that the only thing he was good at was taking naps."

"The chef quipped that his secret ingredient was love, but his real secret was a pinch of cayenne pepper."

"The actor quipped that he didn't need a personal life, he had paparazzi to do the stalking for him."

"The musician quipped that his guitar was his best friend, because it never talked back."

"The witty writer quipped, 'I put my phone on airplane mode, but it's not flying anywhere.'"

"The talk show host quipped that her show was so popular, even the plants in the audience had agents."

"He quipped that his sister was so forgetful, she once forgot her own name."

"The comedian quipped that he used to be indecisive, but now he's not sure."

"She quipped that her dad's cooking was so bad, it could make a grown man cry."

"He quipped that his favorite color was rainbow, because he couldn't choose just one."

"She quipped that she was so clumsy, she could trip over a flat surface."

"She quipped that her best friend was so funny, she could make a rock laugh."

"The politician quipped that he was so honest, he couldn't even get elected as a dogcatcher."

"He quipped that his cat thinks it's the boss of the house."

"The scientist quipped that he had finally discovered the meaning of life, but then he forgot to write it down."

"As he left the stage, the comedian quipped, 'Thanks, I'll be here all week!'"

"She quipped that her little brother was so loud, he could wake up the dead."

"He quipped that he was allergic to mornings and needed coffee to function."

"The artist quipped that art is not what you see, but what you make others see."

"He quipped that he could fix the problem in five minutes."

"The professor quipped that the only way to learn mathematics is to do mathematics."

"The journalist quipped that the only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not."

"The scientist quipped that if you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe."

"She quipped that she needed a haircut after seeing herself in the mirror."

"The musician quipped that he had been told he was condescending. That means he talks down to people."

"She quipped that her brother always forgets her birthday."

"The actor quipped that he had been rejected for a role in a movie because he didn't look like a boxer. So he got in the ring and came out a few minutes later with a broken nose."

"He quipped that he needed a vacation from his vacation."

"The athlete quipped that he had a photographic memory, but he always forgot to put film in the camera."

"He quipped that he had no choice but to take the last piece of cake."

"She quipped that she needed to buy a new dress for the party."

"The author quipped that writing is easy; all you have to do is sit at a typewriter and bleed."